Pubertal Prim
by Wemmabby
Summary: Primrose Everdeen is going through the dreaded phase that we all call puberty. Even worse, she's faced with the most awkward mom ever, a sister that doesn't seem to care about her, and an ex-lover that's falling for someone else.


**A/N: Hey people. Welcome to the wonderful world of Pubertal Prim. This actually didn't turn out at all how I imagined it to. Oops. Team Priffie forever.**

Pubertal Prim

Chapter One

Primrose Everdeen is now thirteen years old, and she's taken aback when her mother tells her that they need to have "the talk". Prim is now going through that beautiful stage of life that we all refer to as puberty. She recalls a few times when Katniss had talked to her about this. "Well, first, your chesticles are going to blow up like flamboyant balloons, and blood is going to pour out of your vag and you're probably going to think you're dying, and you probably are." After that discussion Prim had run up to her room in tears and blasted One Direction all night. Such a heartbroken little girl...such a scared little duck. Tuck your tampon in.

Mrs. Everdeen carries a little basket of goodies up to her youngest daughter's room. She knocks on the door five times before barging in, and tossing the basket at Prim, who is hardly able to catch it.

"Mom? What is this?" Prim asks, shocked. Her eyes dart all over the basket's contents and a confused look spreads across her face. comes to sit down with Prim on the bed.

"It's your puberty survival kit, dear," explains. Prim instantly turns red. _Could this be any more embarrassing?_

"Oh, oh God..."

"Look, Prim. This is pretty self explanatory, but I'm going to tell you what's in the kit: Some training bras, a stick of deodorant," she counts off the items on her wrinkly fingers. "some tampies, birth control pills..."

"MOM!" Prim screams at the top of her lungs. "I do NOT need birth control!"

"Honey, I'm just worried that you'll turn out a whore like your sister. And besides, isn't it nice to be prepared? You know, just in case you decide to-"

"Do you really think that I'm going to have sex?"

"PRIM!" slaps her daughter's arm aggressively. "S-E-X, is a no-no word!"

"I think I should be allowed to say it if I have to keep birth control in my room," Prim mumbles. She looks down at the glistening hardwood floor. _That is mahogany!_ She laughs, thinking of the one and only Effie Trinket...aka, her ex-lover and best friend. They'd dated for only a short while, but Prim was positively in love with this woman. Unfortunately, they broke up because Effie had kissed Haymitch in the moonlight, therefore cheating on little Primmy. It wasn't like she didn't understand why Effie'd done it- Haymitch was much more manlier than her, anyway. He'd already gone through puberty, unlike the little girl that everyone sees Primrose Everdeen as. She wonders if going through puberty will be enough to get Effie back.

"Prim, I'm sorry..." says Mrs. Everdeen, stroking Prim's long, slender legs. They feel like a yeti forest, and Mrs. Everdeen's upper lip twitches in disgust. "Oh, and don't forget that there's a razor in that basket, too." She winks at Prim, only to recieve an annoyed look from her.

"OK, OK, I'll leave!" she rises from the bed and pats Prim's head of golden blonde hair. "Good luck, kid."

* * *

Mrs. Everdeen calls her daughters downstairs for dinner. They're having fried prunes with a side of honey-battered salmon fries. Mrs. Everdeen is surprised to see that Katniss actually got herself dressed today, if you count the leopard bralette that she's wearing. And that's literally all she's wearing.

"Morning, ma," Katniss says, greeting her mother with a kiss on the cheek. Mrs. Everdeen says nothing, and continues setting the table. She sometimes wonders how her daughter turned into this...this simply disgustful, horrid human-being that she hasn't an ounce of respect for. Prim walks into the kitchen, wearing a sky blue dress and a beige sweater. She sits down at the table along with he mother and skanky older sister.

"So," Katniss says with a mouthful of prunes. _You should never talk with your mouth full,_ Prim thinks to herself, but it only brings back memories of the woman she had once loved, forcing a single tear to roll down her cheek. "I hear that you two had 'the talk' earlier today."

"Yes, yes we did," Mrs. Everdeen confirms. "Um...look, Katniss, can we not talk about this right now?"

"Did you tell her about the period fairy?"

"_Katniss!_"

"Ok, sorry!" says Katniss, snickering. Prim hides her face in her hands. "So Prim, how's Effie?" asks Katniss boldly. Prim bursts into tears and sprints up the stairs sheepishly. At the same time, Katniss bursts into laughter. Her mother scowls at her, and slaps her right across the face. Katniss yells out in pain, and clutches her cheek because if she didn't then it wouldn't be dramatic enough. Katniss then takes off her bra and whips her mother with it eleventy seven times. Mrs. Everdeen attempts to bash her oldest daughter into the ground, but it's no use. Katniss is much too strong to fend off. Instead, she ends up tackling her completely naked daughter to kitchen floor.

They hear the front door open, and Haymitch Abernathy walks in with a bottle in his hand.

When he sees the mother-daughter situation, he lets out a "What the fuck?" and takes a swig of his whiskey.

"Haymitch?" Mrs. Everdeen gasps. She slowly stands up, brushing off her elegant pleated skirt. "This is not what it looks like...um...wh-what are you doing here?"

"Just stoppin' by." Haymitch has to lean up against the kitchen counter to keep from falling. "Wanted to check up on Katniss and little Primmy. Well...now I know how Katniss's doin." Haymitch licks his overly chapped lips sexually.

"Back off, fucking minger!" Katniss barks. She yanks the tablecloth off of the table and quickly wraps it around her naked body.

"Haymitch, aren't you supposed to be with Effie?" questions.

"I _was,_ but she fell asleep. And besides, I don't even like her, anyway."

"Haymitch, are you serious or just drunk?" asks Katniss.

"Both."

"Well, we're probably not the ones you should be telling that to." Katniss glances toward the staircase, and Haymitch nods.

"Yeah, I would tell little Primmy, but Effie and I sorta have plans tonight," Haymitch says defiantly.

"What kind of plans?" asks Katniss, re-fastening the tablecloth around herself.

"A party. In the Capitol. Free _refreshments,_ too." Haymitch takes another swig. "And I don't think I'm getting in without Effie."

"So..._you're using her?_" Katniss asks, her eyebrows narrowing. Haymitch just nods casually.

"What? I thought you didn't care about her."

"I don't...but..." Katniss pauses. "Fine, fine. Maybe I do care about Effie," she admits. Haymitch gives her a half smile.

"That's nice," says Haymitch hazily, heading toward the door. Mrs. Everdeen shakes her head, and puts a hand on her daughter's shoulder. They watch together as the old drunk maneuvers his way back home.

"What the hell are we going to do?" asks, shaking her head. Katniss looks at her. She imagines several scenerios in her head, one where Haymitch is unmistakably drunk, leaving Effie to clean up after him like she would for a toddler. And another, which shows Haymitch, drunk again, at this Capitol party, and Effie being harassed by Seneca Crane and the other Capitol pigs. This leaves a bad feeling in Katniss's stomach. Sure, Effie always annoys the hell out of her, but Katniss isn't heartless, or stupid, for that matter. She knows what they need to do.

"We're going to crash this party."


End file.
